jesus

Developed from the Old Persian "Yazhus", meaning "Anal Lord". From ~1500BCE to ~60AD the Middle East was ruled by "Zgenhhus" - heterosexual Kings who spread their empire by impregnating hundreds, sometimes thousands of women in a lifetime. The famous Jesus Christ (Yashua Bin Josef) was supposed to be the next in the natural line of these, as governed by the Magi, or Wise Men. However, being agressively homosexual, he instead gained the nickname "Yazhus" (Anal Lord) and discontinued this line, causing thousands of years of worldwide war. Historical experts agree that the reason of his terrible execution is not because of his flamboyent speeches. It is actually because he broke into the Roman ranks often and paraded around wearing nothing but a crown of psychoactive plants on his head, tricking the soldiers into being drug-induced rape victims.