Jambot

Jambot can speak French in Russian and once had an awkward situation just to see how it feels. If he disagrees with you, it is because you're wrong. He has never lost a sock. He has been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into the room. His organ donation card, also lists his dick. His shirts never wrinkle. He is left-handed. And right-handed. Even if he forgets to put postage on his mail, it gets there. The police often question him, just because they find him interesting. He once punched a magician. If a monument was built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would close, due to poor attendance. His dick alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body. His blood smells like cologne. On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him. He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders. His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him. Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores. Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact. If he were to give you directions, you would arrive 10 minutes early. He never says anything tastes like chicken, even chicken. He was once found guilty, of being innocent. He once taught his German Shepard how to bark in Spanish. He actually struck gold picking his nose.