Intellectual

Intellectuals are those who: - Enjoy art and literature nobody else cares about, and think they are superior to everyone else because of it - Believe education should serve some undefined "higher purpose" than preparing people for the real world - Claim that language is a beautiful art form rather than a means of communication - Love to argue that capitalism is evil despite having no understanding of basic economics - Dream of living anywhere but where they actually do live; usually a far less affluent society - Believe that our own society is degrading or becoming a cultural wasteland, because people would rather watch TV than go see a play written in the 1600's - Are the most fiery supporters of evolution, yet dislike people who pursue their evolutionary desires - Convince themselves to hate parties and sports to cover up their lack of social/athletic ability - Can't stand the idea of leaving their tiny bubble that is academia - Believe that anyone who enjoys sports must be a mindless jock with the IQ of a gorilla - Love to advertise how much they "think for themselves," yet somehow always agree with each other on everything Not to be confused with the word "intelligent"