Infinite Fruit-Roll Up Theorem

The infinite Fruit-Roll Up Theorem is a theorem that was sparked in the early 21st century and still leaves philosophers baffled. The base premise of the theorem assumes that a Fruit-Roll Up is rolled around the shaft of a male's penis. This then begs the question, "Is it gay if you were to take a bite out of a Fruit-Roll Up that was miles in diameter but at its center, wrapped around a penis?" Philosophers argued for years over whether the action would be gay and the following theorem was created: As the diameter of Fruit-Roll Up approaches infinity, gayness approaches zero. As the diameter of Fruit-Roll Up approaches zero, gayness approaches infinity. It is key to note that no matter how thick and large in diameter the Fruit-Roll Up is, as long as its center is rolled around a penis, it will always be some form of gay.