incrotching

The ancient art of encroaches upon another's crotch. Incrotching originates from Chinese military strategy, first recorded by the eldest son of famous military general and philospher Son Tzu in his lesser known sequel to the Art of War (The Art of War II: Anal impalement and 99 other tactics the enemy doesn't want you to know). The son of Sun Tzu directly or indirectly refers to incrotching several times in the historic text: "To kick and enemy in the crotch is not supreme incrotching. Supreme incrotching consists of grabbing his crotch and thusly deterring him from action against you." "If you know the enemy and you know yourself, you need not fear for your crotch." "He who knows when he can incrotch, and when he cannot, shall avoid sex offender status." Through utilization of incrotching, the great general Ben Chang was able to defeat the Emperor of Wu and establish the Cuchi Dynasty. Though the tactics presented in the Art or War II are not as popular as the original, many have argued that they are just as applicable today, not only in war but in sexual harassment. Pedobear, modern military theorist and strong proponent of incrotching, has written an influential treatise on the use of incrotching against underage adversaries (though Pedobear emphasizes the importance of subtly and "grooming", rather than the lighting strike). Other notable users of incrotchment include Michael Jackson and Bill Cosby.