i'm so fucking sorry

What you want to say to your ex when she's gone. When you miss her and hold on to a memory. Then you start to drink and keep holding on to that memory until that's all you have when your friends leave you because you're a self destructive drunk. You can't tell your family you are and you have no friends to depend on. So then you're left alone, holding a picture with your favorite memory and wish you could go back to it but you can't. And you continue to spiral down and don't see a bottom because one thing threw you over the edge and you can't climb back up from that fall.