howard county

Howard County, or “hoco,” well-known for being one of the richest counties in the country, let alone Maryland and rightfully so. The inhabitants of Howard County run the gammut from your typical preppy upper middle class group to your white trash lower to middle class wannabe-black group, and one can't forget the overwhelming population of asian and middle-eastern Howard Countians, only half of whom can actually speak English....as for the preppy group, most of the mothers are either the stay at home yuppie soccer moms who cart their brat kids around for a living or the working moms who have enough money for a nanny and daily presents from toys-r-us but not enough time to actually sit down and god forbid raise their own children, not to mention dad who's either away on business (someone's gotta make the money to provide for the minivan/suv payments, the mortgage on the huge house, and of course mom's nails and wardrobe) or home and carting the kiddies around with mom, dressed to the nines in polo and tommy, sporting those obnoxiously expensive boat shoes. These types can be found mostly in Ellicott City and Clarksville. As for the white trash Howard Countians, who you know are not contributing to the county’s economic esteem, they can be found in places like Elkridge and Laurel, the breeding grounds for white kids who think they’re black, fashion trends such as the mullet, big bangs, and huge white t-shirts are prevalent here. Howard Countians living in these areas listen to either rap or country, one or the other, never both, and never anything else, and can be seen racing down Route 1 in their pickup trucks or shitty excuses for cars. The Asian Invasion that’s currently taken over Howard County can been seen in the overload of souped-up Honda Civics and the appearance of masses of young asian students either at the library (definitely not studying) or hanging around the “pool hall.” Young Asians are either obnoxious bookworms from very disciplined families where they’ll get screamed at and pressured unless they achieve at least a 4.5 or “ghetto” members of the Asian mafia, sporting more hair gel than one bottle contains and wearing more ice than the “ghetto” black kids. The Asian parents are well-known for being the slowest drivers in the ENTIRE WORLD. This, ladies and gentlemen, is Howard County at its best and it will never change, I guarantee it, so embrace it or MOVE.