Hoover, Alabama

Founded way back in 1967 by a Neo-Nazi, Hoover, Alabama offers many chain restaurants, strip malls, and new-money maniacs climbing that social ladder. An inflated sense of self is garnished with the stinch of racism and spiritual abuse. Here, roads are backed up with mini-vans commuting to places like Greystone in the hope of elevating one's status. Bores are everywhere, just pray you never sit next to one at a dinner party. They will drop every name in the book, talk about how much money they make, and even ask you about your money...prepare to vomit. They also brag about attending church more than you do...the desperation for admiration is pathetic. Hoover is the closeted homosexual happily married to his frumpy school marm prig. But she's so busy smocking, embroidering, or devouring Guthrie’s she never notices his indiscretions.