hoopty

1. A large, broke ass, white, 86 Lincoln Town car, with dear horns on the grill and cat paw prints so dense you can't see out the rear window. Driven by a hillbilly with white hair, who worships Willy Nelson. Usually is missing one or more license plates, and hasn't been inspected in at least 3 years. Comes complete with a broken am/fm radio with superglued on knobs, a "singing" steering column that sounds like a gay tweeter bird, and an inexplicable smell iminating from the interior, like a mix between old cheese from 1991, an excess of cats and dogs, and tamales which have been carted around to pay rent. Embarrasing to drive. 2. An automobile that is so long and top heavy that it rocks when you turn too quick. 3. Something you would call a car that belongs to someone you truly dispise, but really envy.