Hemingway

A famous 1930s author whose works include THE SUN ALSO RISES, FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS, and A FAREWELL TO ARMS. Critically loved for his simple, to-the-point style. In reality, a fat lout who liked his women and booze a little too much. One day, realizing just how mediocre and utterly worthless his writing was, he decided to do something good; off himself so that people don't waste the little effort needed to try reading his shallow crap. Unfortunately, his plan backfired, and schoolchildren across America now have to endure his mediocrity while listening to bullshit about how he was a great revolutionary writer and adventurer.