hawthorne heights

There once was a genre called "boyband". This genre ruled the land, competing with the best of the rap and the rock scene for the number one spot on the billboards. However, the reign of the boyband was soon cut short, as all of their avid listeners found out through the grapevine that at least one member of every boyband was a homosexual. Thus, the boyband faded into obscurity, and was never heard from again. Until now. Hawthorne Heights and every other band that sounds like Hawthorne Heights (the entire modern "rock" scene)is basically just a new iteration of the boyband. Some record producer decided to put a guitar in each of their hands and let them write their own lyrics, which consists of crying over girlfriends that dumped them their sophomore year of high school. These angsty retro-boybands make me want to go on a baby-punching tangent, with their inane songs about minor, pre-adulthood grievances, and the band members trying to look soulful on every damned album cover and on the front of every damned teeny-bop magazine. Stop crying in your music, or I'll rip off your twiggy little goth-emo arms and give you a vicious gouging with your own black fingernails. That'll sure as hell give you spineless pricks something to cry about.