Green Bitch

Green Bitches can be any age and any gender. Most Green Bitches are teens. Most Green Bitches are boys. The “Green” in Green Bitch has dual meanings, “Green” referring to Green Day. And “Green” referring to immature, ignorant and inexperienced. Green Bitches are a special kind of poser. They are really chavs and rednecks in disguise and probably future klansmen too. They want to pretend to be punk today because Green Day is popular now. Chances are they were in diapers when Longview came out. And their mom quite possibly might have been in diapers when Rock n Roll High School came out. But age is NOT a barrier to being punk. Intolerance, ignorance, not even knowing what punk is while pretending to be punk will all make a person a Green Bitch. The vast ignorance of Green Bitches is revealed just by listening to them talk. They will say ignorant things, for example, like how they hate Gerard Way or Davey Havok (neither of which are exactly punk in my book but they BOTH KICK ASS!!!) hate them because they think Gerard and Davey look or act gay. At the same The Green Bitch usually professes their love for Green Day. When you tell a Green Bitch about Billie Joe Armstrong’s professed sexual history and his dislike for ‘phobes and haters', the Green Bitch never believes you and never admits that he doesn’t know anything about punk. The Green Bitch is trying to be popular, not punk and Green Bitches don’t know the difference. More things you will observe about Green Bitches: Between The Queers and The Pansy Division, Green Bitches don’t know who was actually gay, who gave themselves a “gay” name way back in 1982 just piss people off (now that’s punk), who toured with and was once on the same label as Green Day, or which band it was that Billie Joe interrupted their set so he could tell the crowd that they were pathetic for hating. Green Bitches don’t even know that The Queers and The Pansy Division exist. Green Bitches don’t know that The Ramones did not do guitar solos or even that The Ramones were born out of rebellion to 10th generation Led Zeppelin and exasperating egomaniacal guitar solos. They usually also hate certain music and call it Emo because they say it’s gay. But Green Bitches are just jealous because their 14yr old female counterparts are in love with Jared Leto, Gerard Way, and Pete Wentz.