Genital Barnacles

Genital Barnacles or just the Barnacles, for short, is a mutant form of genital herpes named for its resemblance to actual marine barnacles. You will know you’ve got the Barnacles when your herpes sores become calcified and start building small colonies. Because of its calcified nature, Genital Barnacles is often hard to get rid of and can become very uncomfortable. Seek help if… the barnacles don’t go away after 2 weeks, you’ve spread your barnacles to multiple partners; you’ve got more barnacles than the hull of the Queen Mary. Barnacles often run rampant on college campuses and in lesbian communities. The disease is often spread through scissoring, and if not treated quickly, Genital Barnacles can morph into its more malignant state known as Genital Coral; if this happens, seek help immediately. Like the Ebola virus, the source of barnacles is unknown, but it is thought to originate somewhere on the Boston College campus.