gabenism

Gabenism is the belief that a man long ago created the Universe purely out of Steam. He created the Fortress, and the Earth. On Earth, Gaben spawned many creatures, but most importantly, Gordon and Alyx; They are the first humans on earth. They reproduced until the world was full of 7 billion people. We, as descendants of Gaben, must praise our lord, or face the horrible depths of Chell. Not only do Gabenists believe in Gaben, they also believe in Garry. Garry is an evil being who lives in the deepest layer of Chell. Chell is where the souls who defy Gabengo after they die. If you do not defy Gaben, you go to the Fortress, The Fortress is where holy beings live after they die. The Fortress was guarded by the Mercenaries. You will be given all of the source games, and Steam Sales will be often. Gabenistsalso believe in Steam Sales. A Steam Sale is when Gaben is pleased with his descendants' work, and decides to release a bundle of happiness upon them. (Or in other words, a Steam Sale) To worship Gaben, you must go to Steam often, buy his games, and never give intoGarry's evil doings. Sinners will be banished to 720P 30FPS, and will never enjoy good exclusives.