France

1) A Western European nation. Located slightly beneath Britain, in most or all senses. 2) Produces nice wine. 3) Produces nice cheese. 4) Produces shedloads of nuclear weapons, which are happily tested on small Pacific atolls home to endangered species of fish and pygmies. 5) The number one source of irritation for the rest of Europe. This manages to go unnoticed by many Americans, who assume the continent is a single amorphous blob. 6) Also the number one source of contention for the United States, having replaced the Soviet Union. 7) Has an annoying accent. 8) Dislikes British beef. This, as theory and experiment have shown, is due to France's argumentative and overly vegetarian wussiness and has nothing whatsoever to do with life-threatening brain disease. 9) Dislikes Germany, for invading it repeatedly and being German. 10) Dislikes Britain for constant warfare, political disagreement and out of habit. 11) Dislikes the United States for its competition in the 'irritating accents' league table and also for having more nuclear weapons and cheese than France. 12) Dislikes.... well, most things, actually. 13) Is a thoroughly splendid country. 14) Is filled with thoroughly un-splendid French people.