Food Converter
A sub species of Fobbit that has either actively pursued or passively accepted her or his jobless lot on the FOB (Forward Operating Base). Under-employed and overly bored this particularly sorry creature has accepted and come to embrace the one job they have left, converting food into excrement. These ample wastes of space wander about the FOB aimlessly during their evenings and weekends off, dressed only in PTs (Physical Training Uniforms) and driven solely by their quest to collect a pay check without giving anything in return. This sad sack of a soldier zealously protects all time they have off by closing early and strongly discouraging any productive soldiers that enter their work areas seeking help 20-30 minutes prior to 1500. They are so consumed with their "Office Space" dreams of doing nothing, that they will purposefully screw other soldiers for the preservation of any and all time off. Once these creatures do get their time off, they dwell in their CHUs (Containerized Housing Units) or scour the FOB, as if driven by guilt, seeking places to consume food they must purchase with their ill gotten gains, rather than converting the abundant free food provided for them. These welfare soldiers bring nothing to the fight, horde all resources and HMMWV (Highly Mobile Multi Wheeled Vehicle) armor upgrades and openly mock their brothers and sisters in uniform who serve outside the wire. They come in all ranks and sexes and typically have no concept of what smaller FOBs are like, or that there is actually a war going on outside of the concrete walls that shield them. Most of these creatures are the victims of the rampant mismanagement of piss poor officers while the rest are consumed wholly in self. For the latter there can be no redemption.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
ThIs is perfect
Great quality and fast shipping and I just dropped my mug.
This T-shirt is a high quality product. It fits perfectly and is very comfortable as well. I'm totally satisfied with the product and recommend it to everyone. Not to sound like a commercial or anything, but I really am impressed! Check it out for yourself. If you're thinking about buying something, go ahead. I'm sure I'll be buying more for a few friends soon. Thanks guys! I love this shirt! For real.
My niece laughed and loves her custom shirt.

Not only was the product exactly what I expected, I was well informed on the shipping process in a seamless and timely manner!
The T-shirt was a birthday gift for my girlfriend and she absolutely loved it.

Happy that this tee is comfy and fits well. I wish the sentence was on the back too.
My wife absolutely loves her new T-shirt.
This looks like a weird design but it looks cool
This T shirt is the best piece of material to have ever graced this Earth. The fine quality fabrics and in depth definition, which is professionally implanted on the back of the shirt, which makes for some very interesting talking points. Thank you Pablo Parmesan.
Absolutely wonderful product! I bought this shirt for my son and he gagged with joy! Mariah Careystmas everyone!
I love it I bought me and my family some
Glad I had utmost FREEDOM OF SPEECH to express in articulate detail what evv it is the fk i was on a rant about that day. I haven't even received my shirt. I just a few moments ago placed the order. That is how pleased 😄 I am. Fk yeah fk yeah. Very empowering experience. My thoughts turned into type, that made some shi# happen. Having freedom of expression was most definitely...one fk ton of fun. A fk ton can be quantified as exuberance an joy beyond expectation. Fk yeah fk yeah. Awesome>>>
Proofread much? She might seem "quite"? Please fix the spelling to "quiet". Can't believe I was considering this purchase...
Damonism T-shirt :+) I found this by accident while surfing through your site. I love this shirt. I bought one and wear it when I feel frisky.
Another hit!
Great shirt, great service. A big thumbs up👍🏻
I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".
Very comfortable and love the tyoeface
Very nice t-shirt. Fits perfect.
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |