first heartbreak

it will feel like your heart was pierced straight through, and anytime someone walks a little too close, it trembles with the force of a million waves pounding the shores, threatening to shatter into dust and coat every memory, past and future, with the pain of something wonderful that fell apart and the guilt in the knowing that you are at fault just as much as they are. it weighs you down until all you hear is the "what if"s and all you can do is curl in on yourself and wait for someone to find you and pull you out. it is the feeling that puts new meaning to the word loneliness and puts into perspective just how much a person can lose, just how much of a shell a body can become. it is the one feeling that will always be remembered, the first feeling that will come to mind when someone says "first love"