First Aunt Jemima
The wives of the first 43 presidents were given the title of "First Lady", but that was the past. That's an OLD title from the OLD united states. It's a new world and it is time for CHANGE. Therefore, its time for a NEW title for the president's wife. Since America has a Capitalist economy and a president has become more of a figurehead than a leader, and being a good figurehead means being a consumer whore, the new title for the president's wife will be used for advertising space and product placement. Every four years starting now, a corporation will pay the White House a MASSIVE amount of money to brand the president's wife with their product name, and the wife will be referred to as "First <whatever product bought their name>" as long as their husband stays the president. (For example: First Pepto Bismol, First Quaker Oatmeal, First Extra Strength Vagisil, First Murphy's Butt Lovin Lube, etc.) This presidential term's wife name advertisement slot has already been purchased by Aunt Jemima. So, that means Michelle Obama is the nation's first "First Aunt Jemima". It is oddly coincidental that she strongly resembles Aunt Jemima. If you don't believe me, next time you are in the grocery store LOOK at a bottle of Aunt Jemima... They look so much alike they could be twins! Also, she's a black chick, and everyone knows black chicks know how to cook. Imma go have a pancake with a bottle of Michelle Obama now...
The Urban Dictionary Tee
This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.
Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.
Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies
Fun and soft.
Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10
Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!
good very good worth money!
5 out of 5 I love when people start reading the definition. It's halourious
10/10 yes much good 10/10 would buy again
Fit is true to size, good quality material. Graphics applied well (not off-center or angled as with some products). Quick shipment.
gooderesting the gooderesting thing ever made
Got it for a friend! He loved it
Size was accurate, and printed text was as displayed online. Doesn't hurt that the material is pretty soft either.
mine says "ass" on it lol
Good Decent, comfortable by all means
My wife bought this for me, my only thing about the shirt, is the big Vernon on the front. I think I would prefer it situated and smaller type as if overva pocket. Other than that I love it. Seems to be of good quality and easy wearability, but I have only tried it on, so am uncertain. Thank you for making my day
shirt made me cum
Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating
people shat on my shirt that said shart and im mad they took a shit on it instead of a shart
Necero's shirt i can use this in almost every phrase. This shirt allows me to do some great stuff with my kids and grandkids! i'd love for anyone who says same to get this shirt!
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |