Family

(see also: parents) 1) An imaginary concept invented by adults, who use the excuse of 'blood relation' to explain why a: you must have their permission for everything you do, b: you must always love them more than you love anybody else, and c: everything they do to ruin your life is 'for your own good.' 2) The name you give to the people whose house you live in until you can afford not to. 3) What it's called when two people have a baby and then proceed to stake a permanent claim on anything and everything to do with that child's life from conception until death based on the idea that just because he or she came out of their private parts that gives them the right and obligation to be a part of their life forever. 4) A contract made between two generations when the younger generation receives allowance, food, and bedding and the older generation receives complete and total power over the younger and the right and ability to completely ruin their lives whenever beneficial to them.