Extreme Eugene Kanning

The extreme version of the popular sport, Eugene Kanning. A Canadian past time originating from the deep woodlands of Eugene, British Columbia. The home of hobbits, elves and the occasional mogwai. Akin to Arena Football, this athletic activity consists of a bag of rice, one goat, the tears of Britney Spears, and a lonely obese British girl with questionable taste in men. The game is played over a period of five hours and the winner gains the affection and hand of a fair maiden that has ripened with age. Leading to a life of scattered happiness, broken dreams and premature balding on the chest and left thigh. The latter causing the end of a bright future in Bollywood. This game should only be played thirty minutes after eating and never on an empty stomach. Instagramming every other second is a necessity. Memes are recommended. Never run with scissors at the pool. 76% of all Asian males that have gone Extreme Eugene Kanning have developed a rare case of Huxtabate Syndrome.