Drill Instructor

The “men” that we perceive as being tough guys even though all they do is play Simon Says with 17 years olds for 13 weeks and bitch about socks and locks on footlockers and whatnot. The Drill Instructor is the least valuable position in the Marine Corps, despite being the most glamorized. They do a thing called a “shark attack” which, when you remove the false bravado of the term, is just bitching in a circle. They only appear tough because you’re required to stand there and kiss their asses throughout the process or else you lose your job. The hostesses on The View do the same thing with their guests by putting them in the middle of the stage to try and make them look nervous as they turn to either direction to address a different hostess and make them look indecisive. It’s a nonsense “tactic” that accomplishes nothing. If they really were “hard” they’d pick up an m16 and charge into battle, but a preferable weapon for their little hands is an article 15 that is used when somebody hurts their little feelings (much lighter to carry for the little cupcakes). The article 15 is also preferable because the Drill Instructor is timid by nature and must hide behind their rank like a pack of fairies. Most “men” become Drill Instructors because when they were 8 they were caught trying on their mama’s high heels by their dads and they formed a need to prove they’re not faggots, so they signed up for the Marines in hopes of correcting their own fruit behavior.