Drank Himself Retarded

The mental state where one has officially drank enough alcohol to be considered on an equivalent level with a retard. Typical symptoms include loss of ability to speak, hear, or perform basic life sustaining tasks. In order to determine the number of drinks one must consume to qualify for the status of drinking himself retarded a simple formula can be used: Take the number of hours since you have started drinking and multiply it by the IQ of a retard that you personally know (This number normally ranges from 4 - 27). In rare cases retards with down syndrome have a higher IQ. However drinking has not been shown to force the development of an extra 21st chromosome (the cause of down syndrome) and for this reason their IQs are not acceptable for the equation. Recap: Drinking Yourself Retarded = (# hours since you started drinking) x (IQ of a retard you personally know) This will equal the number of drinks you need to have consumed at any given time to be considered officially retarded. Ironically this equation works in an inverse manner. If the retard you personally know is only slightly retarded (IQ in upper 20's) then you will drink yourself to severe retardation using the formula. If the person you know is a full blown retard (IQ around 6) then you will drink yourself to the level of only slight retardation.