Depression

Having a girlfriend but not answering her calls because you feel overwhelmed. Letting people literally beat you to death without a care in the world. Having every single antidepressant and it's side effects memorized in your mind. Writing sad poetry to the point where it hurts to pick up a pen. Not showering for days because you can't force yourself out of bed. Sharp metals hidden in the drawer of your bed-table. Spending weekends alone because you can't find motivation to make plans, nor do you really feel like it. Not knowing what to do anymore because everything just leads to you crying with your hands over your ears, trying to block out the world. A romanticized disorder that SHOULD NOT be. Romanticized to the point where people suffering feel unworthy of treatment because they feel like a typical loser. Having more doctors than you can count. Blanking out of everything you know you knew at least a minute ago. Losing your friends because you "don't do enough." Wondering every night why it feels like no one loves you. Having your school become nosy because they want to keep their perfect reputation and they don't want fucked up students in their school. Being a social reject because you don't feel like talking. People always asking "why don't you ever smile?" Being the best at hiding things, you can never be sure everyone knows everything. Hating yourself. not reading this whole thing