Dependasaurus

A spouse of a military service person who has let himself or herself go, usually during a deployment. Such creatures are known to gain excess weight, not practice proper hygiene and care little for their appearance. They are often seen at the commissary pushing a cart full of screaming children and Little Debbie Snack Cakes while wearing last night’s pajamas. WARNING: Dependasauruses can be dangerous. They defend themselves with their prickly leg hairs, bad breath and cutting insults. Do not approach a dependasaurus when he or she is eating raw cookie dough. Results could be fatal.