David Cameron

Leader of the UK Conservative party. Ex Eton and thus Ex Oxford and thus lives in Notting Hill. Previously a PR guy. Bright, well educated Tory puppet that knows exactly what to say but doesn't have a clue what he's talking about. Represents a party of white male hoorah Henry's that are primarily ministers for lunch. Particularly good at attractive sound bites that cannot be put into policies because most of his own party don't actually like what he's saying. The green issue is a good example. Occasionally flies to the Artic to play with huskies because he is worried about climate change. Tendency to cycle to work only to be followed by a Chelsea tractor (Range Rover) carrying his files. Would be hugely successful as leader of the UK Liberal Democrat party.