Cornfed stupid
Cornfed stupid: Or simply CFS People who demonstrate such a high level of ignorance and inbreeding that they are only good for manual labor employment or better yet ground up as fertilizer for agricultural needs. Description: The typical CFS person defines their status mostly by the size of their transportation. Which is the pickup truck. This is very important if a male intends on having a good chance to breed with the female (relative) of his choice The larger the pickup truck the more impressive he is to females (especially if the said truck has 4 wheel drive capability) and thus in the end larger truck =better choice. Children of CFS parents are sometime found to have genetic deformities. IE- 11 fingers rather than 10 and the ability to play the banjo from an early age…The typical CFS listens to country music and finds deep meaning in the words of one Merle Haggard Or Alabama. Songs like “okie from Muskogee” or “mountain music” have very deep spiritual meaning to them. Favorite foods: Mountain oyster. Which is the testicle of an adult pig that is apparently deep-fried. Also corn on the cob, “string beans” hominy grits cornbread, chicken, pinto beans and pork chops. It should be noted that in the country group - Alabama song “mountain music” the phrase “play me some mountain music” was replace by an unknown musician to “oh fry me a mountain oyster” this caught on quickly and many thought this would eventually become the anthem for West Virginia… Allegiance: The best way to identify a CFS besides their lack of teeth, mastery of English language or cleanliness is by their flag. Which happens to be the confederate flag. Usually CFS will place a sticker of the flag on their vehicle indicating their dislike of cultures other than their own and demonstrating a wide range of intolerance… Employment: CFS people can be found in professions such as septic service, coal mining and even corn farming… Education: The education of the average CFS used to be complete by the 6th grade. That has now changed to getting a G.E.D. and a 2-year tech school degree. (a considerable improvement from earlier times) The children of CFS are subjected to a form of brainwashing commonly know as Sunday school, bible camp and recently Jesus camp. (Jesus camp where they worship a cardboard figure of President George Bush in addition to brain programming ) Locations: Arkansas, Indiana, West Virginia , North Carolina, Utah, Kansas, Tennessee and Ohio tend to have the highest concentration of these people. Hobbies: When CFS are not working they like to spend their free time engaging in square dancing, country line dancing , cow tipping, cow or other forms of animal rape(more notes on sexual issues further in this text) and consuming large quantities of beer at their local bowling alley. CFS (mostly males do engage in homosexuality quite often. Besides animal rape. In private they tend to engage with others of the same sex while in public denouncing homosexuality as against their faith) Faith: CFS faith can be summed up as follows: Most believe in the King James version of the bible despite that it has been re-written multiple times apparently…They tend to believe in the profit Jesus who is said to have been a virgin birth.(a biological impossibility and fairytale equivalent to that of unicorns dragons and fairies) And who’s teachings according to the KJB are love and tolerance, Yet CFS tend to ignore his teachings when they have tied someone they consider evil to the back of one of their clan’s members Pickup truck and take said evil doer for a “late night run” A form of forced cardio vascular exercise by which the evil doer may not live. (yet another form of entertainment for the CFS) Organizations: Mostly the men form a club of sorts that displays love and brotherhood for them. They tend to follow Halloween traditions and disguise themselves as ghost with sheets and toast marsh mellows while burning a complementary cross on a neighbors yard. In addition to provide beatings and many other free services for their community. They also control quite a bit of money, weapons and local government. Their guide of course for these activities is the previously mentioned King James Bible. The women’s organizational activities are as follows: Baking pies and bearing children…that’s about it. Art: mostly pictures of the civil war from what I have researched. Also images of their faith and quite a few painting of the mythical being one Jesus Christ who is said to have taught tolerance and peace (Strangely CFS seem to uphold the teachings of their profit while at the same time being intolerant and adversarial)
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| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |