Classical Guitar

The shittiest instrument in the world. It’s quieter than a church mouse, it’s really hard to play fast, it sucks to play slow cause it has no sustain, can’t do polyphony as well as a piano, and has a really narrow range. The people who play it are the lamest sorry fucks you’ll ever meet. Too stoned and nonchalant to fit in with the rest of the classical world, and too nerdy and uptight to fit in with the non-art music crowd. They spend hours and hours bitching about their fingernails and how nobody wants to listen to their music. Whatever you do, don’t learn classical guitar. You’ll probably get aids and die. And if you don’t, you’ll wish you did.