chavs

The plague that is spreading across the UK. The male Chav is typically stick thin, with hips wider than his shoulders, short red or blonde hair plastered with obscene amounts of gel, and a deformed mug which looks at least a decade beyond his years. He decks himself in cheap flammable sportswear, white trainers, and a cap which is usually far too large for his pin-head. The Chav hag is usually obscenely overweight and grotesquely ugly. She decks herself in tracksuits that resemble pajamas. She think's that she's "hot" and thus pulls her thongs up to her 40-inch waistline. Above all, the Chav is notable for it's bizarre form of speach. Resembling something between gollum and a mentally retarded infant. Though the Chav possesses great knowledge of expletives, it's vocabulary is otherwise limited. Chavs can often be found lurking outside the local chippy, in children's play areas, at bus shelters, and in pub car parks.