charver

See also charva. This variety of (allegedly) human beings mainly habitate streets in the North East of England. Female charvers are recognised by their rock-solid fringes, loop earings large enough to be used as truck wheels, and the collection of scrunchies in their hair. The males are less distinctive, but can be differentiated from other breeds of human by the distinct lack of any common sense. The common charver hangs in herds of up to twenty, and can be easily tracked by following the clouds of cigarette smoke. The charver reaches motherhood age at approximately 13 years, and gives birth to usually one live young. The charver will have many mates during it's lifetime. Charver pastimes include smoking, scaring old people, and bullying young people. In the absense of other species to bully, the charver will turn on it's own kind.