Cat

A disgusting animal that poops and pees in your clothes. They will eat your birds or pet rodents if left unattended. Will not jump to your defense like a dog would, should you come under attack. Instead, a cat will hide and come out when the coast is clear to lap up your blood. Cats are the only other creature in the world besides humans who will needlessly kill other creatures, usually by unnecessarily cruel means. The only creature in the world vindictive enough to bury their poop so you can't see it, but buries it shallow enough so that it squishes if you step on it. Cats are characteristic for their bitchy mannerism, independent attitude, leaving filthy messes wherever they go (most commonly shed fur that won't come off) and for only loving you when they want something, like food or to have their shit box cleaned out. Cat owners often share many if not all of these characteristics with their pets, and thus are usually equally annoying.