cabin dick

A claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a man's meat sword is isolated and/or shut in a small space, with no one to do for an extended period. Cabin dick describes the extreme irritability and restlessness of the custard cannon in these situations. A person may experience cabin dick in a situation such as being in a simple country vacation cottage lacking in proper attention to the one-eyed wrinkle-necked trouser trout. When experiencing cabin dick, the oyster probe may tend to shrivel, have distrust of the owner, and an urge to get out of the pants even in the rain, snow, dark or hail. The phrase is also used humorously to indicate the simple boredom from beating off at home alone.