butt sticker poop

An alarming condition that may soon reach epidemic status, butt sticker poop refers to a poop that, rather than fall harmlessly into the water, resists both the gravitational pull and bowel push that usually expels poop from the butt into the toilet, instead clinging to the butt hole leaving an unpleasant fecal residue that is often difficult to wipe. While the exact causes of butt sticker poop are unknown, experts hypothesize that it could be the result of many factors including but not limited to: stressful daily routine, excessive consumption of boneless wings, low potassium levels, wild and unkempt anal hair, and underwear that doesn't fit properly. Butt sticker poop is not thought to be contagious though it is advised you stay away from a person suffering with BSP as they may be irritable and surly until the condition passes. For those suffering with BSP doctors recommend bed rest and a lengthy post-poop shower.