brojangles

On January 21st, 1982 at 5:34 am, a man went to the grocery store to pick up a veggie burger. While getting his burger, he tripped on a banana and injured his hand. Despite the setback, he made his way to the register where he struck up a conversation with a man named Jacob Willoms about their shared appreciation for jeans. After leaving the grocery store, he headed to Burger King to pick up a whopper with no onion, extra mayonnaise, and no ketchup. Unfortunately, he choked on his food and passed away due to his injured hand. Three days later, his good friend Jacob Willoms inherited all of his money and hosted the funeral. However, three years later, Jacob was approached by a mysterious figure named Harold Hippyton Bingle who offered him meth, but he declined and continued on with his day. The events of that fateful day at the grocery store may have been tragic, but they ultimately led to Jacob inheriting a significant amount of wealth and the opportunity to make a new start.