Bring Her Home To Mom

A girl you can bring home to your mom. She's responsible, reliable and has outstanding moral fiber. She is intelligent, witty, and has class. She abides by social norms, and does not deviate. She's beautiful but never cheap or tawdry. She has domestic skills, and is never self absorbed. She has confidence, and no known mental illnesses as evidenced by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. She doesn't have tattoos, eccentric piercings, or fake appendages (hair, nails, eyelashes).