braces

A form of torture. Orthodontists (AKA psychopaths that you really can never trust) will let you choose your colors. You will think this is alright until you realize that those colored rubber bands will stop you from eating anything you like for the next week because it hurts so much. Pain medicine doesn’t help. That wax stuff they give you doesn’t help either. That week will seem like the longest week ever. The brackets will tear at your skin, and if the back ones break off, you will have to call the orthodontist and have the stupid wire poke your cheek until you can come back in. No matter how attractive you are you will never be able to pull because those braces are also like a machine that makes you extremely ugly. EVERY SINGLE RELATIVE WILL ASK YOU TO SMILE FOR THEM AND THEN NOT GET OVER IT FOR A WHOLE YEAR. GOD CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE? Finally, you will come in one day and the orthodontist will say, “You’re almost there!” The truth is, you’re not. For 5 or more months you will have to deal with this and they will finally take it off. FINALLY! “Now just wear this retainer all day and all night” “What?” “Just wear this retainer all day and all night” “For how long?” “A year” “Kill yourself”