bonspiel

n. "sporting" activity in which marginally inebriated Canadians curl large lumps of granite down a frozen carpet of ice in order to obtain a "hammer" which, I believe, is the metric equivalent of a "fifth" of rye. Oddly enough a "fifth", in curling, is a player too incompetent to play well. Brooms are used to clear debris off the ice and roller blades can be worn for decreased traction but aren't compulsory. Originally the game was played on Scotland's lakes by English soldiers with frozen lumps of haggis. .............................