Blotis

An adjective used to describe a woman who is beyond being morbidly obese. A Blotis can be identified by whether or not matter in close proximity to the woman is drawn inward due to her massive gravitational pull, quite similar to a Black Hole. If you see a Blotis in public, avoid her at all costs. Coming within the event horizon of a Blotis is fatal and there is no escape. A Blotis has an overwhelming need to consume all matter in the universe. A Blotis may be near-by if you can physically feel the ground trembling or there is a sudden rupture in the space-time continuum. In the event of such misfortune the best course of action is to find shelter in the nearest gym. Avoid public places such as fast-food restaurants and theme parks, unless you with to study a Blotis in it's natural habitat. It is speculated that when a Blotis absorbs a critical mass of matter she will become a super-massive Blotis, which would mark the worlds ending.