Blakeporter

Refers to a park ranger, specifically to the tendency of park rangers to be abrasive, passive aggressive, and full of shame at their inability to have a meaningful impact on the world that does not include darkening a sunny afternoon. It should be noted that someone who is a blakeporter does not have feelings. They simulate emotions as a defense mechanism. They often live with the lifelong feeling that their mothers wanted to abort them. They often talk to real human beings in the futile attempt to establish relationships. (derived from the location of swimming areas in many state parks)