Blackburn

1. A large town in east Lancashire, UK. 2. The British multicultural "dream" gone horribly wrong. A roughly 80% white and 20% Asian (of the Pakistani-heritage, Muslim variety) town.. the two groups seem so distant from each other we might as well call it apartheid. You have more chance of seeing Elvis than a white and Asian person having a conversation in the town centre. Both groups can pander to the worst possible stereotypes you could imagine. There is a race problem in the town, it's just people, whether the man in the street, or MP Jack Straw won't step up and admit to it. 3. One of the only towns that thought it a good idea to close down the main town centre nightclub, and then launch a new one on the top of... a multi-storey car park. Genius. (The place where a close friend of mine was beaten up for the hideous crime of getting into the wrong taxi by some stupid, well.. walking abortions chavettes.. one of them had a child, I would put the poor kid into care myself...) 4. A town where a minority of fairly cool people, especially the younger generation, live, although those with sense often move away when they're old enough. 5. Every bad British 2000s stereotype you could imagine rolled into one. Like the lyrics of I Predict A Riot by the Kaiser Chiefs coming true. 6. Preston nearby isn't exactly Hollywood, but hell, this place makes it look like it. 7. The awful, god-forsaken place people have to waste time sitting around at to change trains travelling to Preston from the east. 8. A place which is supposed to be a shining example of the "good ol', ey' up chuck" salt-of-the-earth Northwest.. hmm, apart from some of the older generation, I've yet to be convinced.