Big Maroon

A homosexual rapper from the Waltham St Lawrence area of Berkshire. Beginning his career in the late 1990s, Big Maroon released the now-legendary EPs "Marooned in Men" and "Bigger then Mohammed" before using his tri-county notoriety to embark on a short-lived stint in London's west-end. The Andrew Lloyd-Wanker musicals "Aspects of Lust" and "Joseph and his amazing technicolour television" were lauded by critics as "the most exciting evidence yet that man has spawned a half-ape half-human creature that can dance and sing, albeit while dislocating improper joints and dribbling a bit". Big Maroon returned to rapping in 2005 with the entirely forgettable 5-track EP "Maroon Five". The demo was seen as an effort to get back on track and secure a major-label album deal, but hope was understandably quashed when EMI, BMG, Sony and Time-Warner all held a joint press-conference specifically to laugh at it. He can now by found by googling the phrase "Biggathanjesus"