Beyer

A sea mammal whose natural habitat is the beaches and waters of the Nantucket Island group. Large and wildly hairy, Beyer sports strikingly vivid colors at all time. This is mainly due to the ever changing configurations of tie dye t-shirts and colorful chef’s pants. Beyer is a supremely talented wood-fire baker and has a commanding stage presence. Beyer’s powerfully angelic voice and charismatic song stylings have brought tears to the eyes of many an audience. Though typically very gentle and kind, Beyer’s tremendous size and strength are a serious deterrent to would-be attackers. Beyer can shot-gun a beer faster than you or anyone you know. Beyer migrate to Portland Oregon in early adulthoodhood and tend to be found in front of large wood-fired ovens or bringing down the goddamn house at karaoke bars. Superior in almost every way to straight, cis gendered men, Beyer is generally better liked and could drink any one of them under the table. No connection to the high school.