bernard

the polar bear from bernard and friends. Bernard hates birds but he is a bird so he hates himself. he's a crazy cowboy and a party animal. he is a person who values tegridy, stale bread, and loves his ninja moustache. he has a best friend called sam who is an ugly little toad with attachment issues and no friends. sam is an alcoholic with self esteem issues, stubby feet and he is balding so he has to wear an ugly smurf hat from wish. Sam can't do shit with his life because he self sabotages and has ugly saggy arms that flop around like dead stinky fish and he can't afford spotify premium sam has the body of a penguin with skinny ass legs like cold spaghetti noodles with no sauce and his face has the circumfrence of a small resolute desk. he waddles like he got every std from the 1700's and gaslights all his friends. for some reason bernard is friends with sam even though sam isn't a very good friend because he is a dirty, lying, ugly bird. Bernard is a silly goose who really really loves a man named Darold