Bernadette-Bernhard scale
The most scientific scale known to man for rating the desired mouth-to-phallus ratio during the practice of oral sex. On one end of the spectrum, we have Bernadette Peters with a diminutive mouth. We'll assign her oral cavity a value of .99 carollas (unit of measurement named after Adam Carolla, a pioneer in the field of Phallometry, whose Water-Displacement Method is now the standard throughout the Penile Sciences). Multiplying this value by the average human penis size (100 carollas) yields a Carolla Psychological Satisfaction (or C.P.S.) score of 99 aces (as in, "That's just aces!"). On the other end of the spectrum, we have the less desirable orifice of Sandra Bernhard measuring .01 carollas. Once again, multiplying this value by 100 yields a score of 1 ace. This indicates that the experience of inserting the male member into Bernhard's mammoth mouth for the purpose of fellatio, while perhaps physically pleasurable, is overshadowed by the pride-shattering effects.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
LOVR THIS SHIRT OML SO CUTEEEEE😍😍😍
mine had gay on it. Instant sex.
I love my NIckIsBum T-Shirt, it is very comfortable.
used it as a cum rag
Great fit and soft material. Gave as gift. Big hit!
Great conversation piece! Plus I can never find anything with my name on it. This was a great find! Will definitely order more!!!!
Got exactly what I wanted.
Exactly what I expected, thanks!
I don't visit Urban Dictionary alit so I only recently saw they offered merch. I immediately started looking up words for potential Christmas gifts. Found the ideal gift for my brother & ordered a shirt. It arrived very quickly and I love it. It's exactly as pictured on the site and being able to customize it with his name makes it perfect. I only hope he loves it as much as I do. Will definitely keep Urban Dictionary in mind when I need to find a great gift.
i love my shirt i made it say sapnap cause yassssssssss
Best This is the best shirt I have ever gotten I love it and I definitly recomend it to any friend named Hailie
So cool to quickly be able to turn a trending phrase into wearable art!
it was really good i put dad with the def of tfu and lol
*clap* *clap* MEME REVIEW. this is so amazing, alexa play despacito 9001
Love this shirt. Got it for my brother for Christmas and I can’t wait for his reaction! Ordered size L and it seems maybe a little big? Thank you!
thankyou for all your kind reviews. For everyone complaining about the spelling we was high on the bezamine while writing it so fuck youuuuuu
I love it
I really love it it's me through and through. Thank you. And when I want another shirt made I will be going through you guys.
ThIs is perfect
Great quality and fast shipping and I just dropped my mug.
Review Details
Pro Customization
Create unique products with your own words and definitions
Live Preview
Personalize Your Design
Debug: Product Metadata
| Key | Value (click to copy) |
|---|---|
Copied! |
Return Policy
Made Just For You
Each product is custom-printed with your unique text, making it truly one-of-a-kind.
Defect-Free Guarantee
If your product arrives with printing defects, damage, or quality issues, we'll send you a free replacement.
Custom Orders
Due to the personalized nature of your order, we don't accept returns for change of mind or sizing issues.
Questions about your order? Contact our support team for assistance.
Share this product
Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |