ben dover

Ben Dover - a middle/ old aged Gonzo pornographer who looks like the kind of guy you'd get round to tune your sky dish, or alternatively, like the benevolent old codger who used to hang around your schoolgates in an old trenchcoat offering Wherther's originals to schoolkids until outed by the "Sun" newspaper and beaten half to death by a horde of chavs. Also a religious figure in the Turkish village of Turkmenkbabflapparappa, population 2 men, 1 crone, 234 goats and 556,783.5 effigies of Ben Dover in various sexual positions. Main features and defining characteristicas of Ben Dover are 1) Chemically damaged mullet, which recedes in a perfect straight line across the middle of his head. 2) Larger than average penis, which looks like a toadstool when erect and, as Ben is the cameraman in his own films, is usually viewed rather shakily (due to his state of arousal) from above entering a middle aged woman's mouth in an A-Road lay by near Kettering, framed by a pair of pointy cowboy boots, Ben's favoured footwear. 3) Obsession with sticking his finger up an assortment of victims' booty holes, to an accompaniment of hissing sexual noises akin to a feeding frenzy when a rotting goat carcass is thrown to a pack of Komodo dragons and frantic masturbation of the "toadstool".