bedside rag

Often an old t-shirt, however any semi absorbant textile material will suffice. The bedside rag is kept beside your bed and is used for cleaning up the goo after you have shamefully loved yourself. There are several methods which can be employed when using the bedside rag. a)goo on your hand and wipe onto the rag, b)goo onto your stomach (could involve snail-trail-slime) or my favourite which is least messy c) put the rag on your stomach and goo straight onto it, this needs no after-goo clean up so you can go straight to sleep. This invention allows for the moment of bliss after gooing to kept on into the night, however it is best to throw it out after a while as it gets a bit mucky, and you have to start thinking of excuses why you've got an old stainfilled mickey mouse t-shirt next to your bed (see e.g).