barney
A small-town, provincial putz of a policeman. The name represents "Barney Fife", the bumbling, inept deputy sherfiff from the "Andy Griffith Show." The typical small-town Barney is a doughnut-chomping fat bastard whose only purpose is to write as many speeding tickets and seat belt "safety" violations to out-of-town licence plated cars as humanly possible. This daily pattern continues until the barney has padded his resume sufficiently to move on to a real job far from the provincial putzville which was his first job for a couple of years. The outrageous pattern of excessive ticket-writing also works in the favor of the inbred, corrupt, fuck-headed town officials who reap an obscene profit from the fine largesse. This, in turn, self justifies the continuance of the salary for the Barney. This pattern is particularly effective in towns which are so ridiculously quiet and small that an actual "law enforcement officer" has no substantive reason to be on the public payroll. The next time you are pulled over in some backward Hooterville for driving 4 MPH over the posted limit, remember where your fine money is going.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
Another hit!
Great shirt, great service. A big thumbs up👍🏻
I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".
Very comfortable and love the tyoeface
Very nice t-shirt. Fits perfect.
FUCK you urban dictionary.

My brother loved the shirt and the dogs name is cum stain
The small shirts for men looks like an extra small. Other than that I love the shirt.
AMAZING I GOT THE HILAARIOUS SHIRT AND LOVE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING!

I absolutely loveeeeeeee my shirt ! Fast shipping too !
hehe mine said skibidi

Feels great love the shitt
Great shirt. Great service. Shopify doesn’t track the shipment accurately though. However, when I reached out to Urban Dictionary customer service, they were able to help me.
Wore it to school.
Love this shirt so much

I love this t-shirt that says morbussy. It allows me to show off both my love for Morbius and the fact that I get no Morbussy.
This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.
Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.
Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies
Fun and soft.
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |