Avedøre Victim

A man emotionally and physically exploited by his wife’s unstoppable shopping addiction. Most commonly spotted in or around Avedøre, Denmark — a place where hope goes to die and delivery drivers cry. The Avedøre Victim spends every day fetching endless “small” packages ordered online, from obscure pickup locations, lockers, and post offices, often without warning. He is promised love, peace, or at least dinner — but receives none. Instead, he returns home carrying three overstuffed IKEA bags and a crushed soul. Known symptoms include: Chronic back pain from lifting "just one more parcel" PTSD triggered by GLS and PostNord logos A dead look in the eyes when asked “Can you just pick it up on your way?” Often used jokingly, but there’s a dark truth behind the term. If you see one: offer help, or at least a cold beer.