Australia

Also know as Peasantville. An island in the southern hemisphere inhabited by former convicts from Britain and well as peasants from many countries other than England. This incredible mix created a society obsessed with their own importance, beer and sport. An average level of education in Australia is about second to third grade. For example, English grammar is not taught in this English speaking country. An apostrophe followed by an S, is considered to be plural. General knowledge of world's issues is zero. The official flag of Australia is a dark blue singlet (affectionally called a "wife beater"). Australian national anthem is short and easy to learn: "Ozzie, ozzie, ozzie, oi, oi, oi". In actual fact the anthem did have a second verse, but it was hard to remember and was scraped by the parliament in 1996. The melody of the anthem is non-existent. The correct way to sing it is to do so after consuming several cans of a pesticide (aka local beer). Favourite pastimes of Australians include, but are not limited to: Getting drunk at work, getting drunk after work, getting drunk instead of work, getting drunk at football, getting drunk at football, getting drunk at football, talking about mortgage rates, getting drunk at football. Australians love the "brown land of ours". They express their love by throwing rubbish out of their car windows and going on holidays to Bali, where the beer is cheaper. They dislike all other countries and feel superior to any other nation in the world, and yet they think American and buy Chinese. Australia has a rich culture, which includes horse racing and two codes of football; Rugby and Australian Rules Football. The latter is an immensely popular game (in the state of Victoria that is) and according to Victorians it should replace all other sports in the world (with the exception of horse racing). Australians per capita are the highest gambling peoples in the world. Victorians hold the record in being the highest polluters per capita in the world. The Australian dream is to possess a crap looking, badly build house (6 to an acre) and one day become the 51 state of the USA.