Apple pie

Use an apple corer to make a hole directly in the middle of the apple, while making sure one end is sealed tight and the other end is an open hole. You then proceed to fuck that apple like Nathanial Bar-Jonah on a twelve year old girl. After ejaculation has taken place you remove your dick from the apple and hold the round delicious fruit with the hole (filled with your semen) facing upright. You now have an apple pie, similar to a cream pie however not recognised by society as an acceptable act. But that's irrelevant, continuing with the Nathanial Bar-Jonah theme you shall now consume your victim and enjoy the juicy sweet delicious apple pie that you have created. All in all you have satisfied your hunger and hornyness and as an added bonus your dick has a lovely apple aroma which will probably have no use to you as you have just performed a sexual act apon an apple so you aren't likely to pick up any girls. Unless you decide to take extreme commitment to the Nathanial Bar-Jonah theme in which I shall not be held accountable for your actions.