Anchor

An anchor is usually– but not exclusively– that super awkward guy that nobody likes or that fugly two-ton birth-defect of a grenade with an obnoxious personality, who try to “tag on.” The anchor makes it impossible to get in anywhere and frequently misses the hint that he/she/it is not welcome. The bro version of an anchor is the guy who throws off the girl/guy ratio just enough to keep you from getting into frats. His laugh is choppy, piercing, and poorly timed. Hey douche, go wack off to anime. Guys if you're reading this and can't relate, you're it. Sorry. There are several types of women anchors. First, the typical grenade. Fucked up hair, corn teeth, like a character from The Hills Have Eyes, ya dig? Second is the girl who is slightly too ugly to fuck who takes 4 hours getting ready and then cockblocks you the entire night. Third is the clingy alcoholic twig who blacks out after 3 shots. Consequently your night is ruined, especially after she ralphs on your Ralph Lauren jeans. Always an easy fuck, never a good decision. Gross. Anchors are constantly holding you down. They always seem to be leaving the building simultaneously, are never a contributing factor toward your fun, and would shrivel up and die if ripped from the leach-like grasp they've sank into your nuts for social-life-support. In any anchor situation, you want to treat them like an actual anchor– by tying a rope around their neck and throwing them off the side of a boat.